Booked! The Gospel According to our Football Heroes is a funny, fascinating digest of over 120 footballer autobiographies. Authors John Smith and Dan Trelfer have forensically examined the life stories of legends, hard-cases, cult heroes and one or two players they vaguely remember playing for Portsmouth - so you don't have to. Along the way, they discovered answers to questions they never knew they needed to know. Which coach has a tattoo inked by Mickey Rourke? Which maverick witnessed his gaffer murder an animal in a team talk? Yes, the revelations from this Pandora's Box may melt the reader's face, like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. But they also offer an insight into the strange world that footballers inhabit, using their very own words. What drives star players apart? And what binds them together, beyond an almost universal love of Rod Stewart? Booked! investigates a unique world full of sex, booze, cash, fights, glory, bitterness, fame - and incessant, relentless banter.

Second Yellow: More Adventures of our Footballing Heroes brings you more funny, fascinating and downright baffling tales gleaned by authors John Smith and Dan Trelfer from their unflagging research of over 240 footballer autobiographies. Together, they have pored through the works of genuine legends, cult heroes and players they can only dimly recall from their 1983 Panini sticker albums to find stories and facts that will delight, shock and confuse - sometimes all at once. There's the chairman who owned a ventriloquist's dummy called Algernon. There's the Liverpool legend who set a team-mate's wife's hair on fire. There's the Arsenal star who confronted some innocent fans with a samurai sword. And there's the Ipswich hero who took on Sylvester Stallone in an arm-wrestling contest - possibly inspiring Stallone's half-forgotten epic Over The Top. This book covers all the bases of the typical footballer's life: love, violence, gambling, horrific injury, banter (it's mostly banter) and, apparently, pigeons.